A Very Healthy And Fruity Blog

Stay and Shape, Live Longer

Become Proud of Your Imaginary Fit Body

Hello America.

I’m here to personally get you motivated to get you into shape. Do not laugh out loud to yourself and say “round is a shape”. It is not and you are not funny. At all. Circle is a shape, and it is not an attractive body type. Neither is square for that matter, but you are taking things too literally if you are thinking like that.

You need to develop your muscles and lose weight now. If you want to be skinny like Stephen Colbert, then you need to get your nose on the grindstone. With the grindstone on your nose, you will need to begin the real long grind of working out and eating right.

You are going to learn how to lift weights like a proper man should. Back in the day people didn’t need to workout to lose weight. They were naturally lean and fit. All the men would hunt and fight their food. They’d kill protein filled animals and eat them raw. Like Gollum (and we all know he wasn’t fat). The women would gather innocent yet healthy food like fruits and vegetables. We need to go back to those olden days. The cavemen as a whole were healthier than our 2,000 era humans.

Now I’m not going to suggest that you give up on civilization, move out into the Himalayan mountains and become an 11th century health nut. I’m just saying that the way school needs teachers that’s the way you should need good diet and exercise. Start running and racing. Race the cars on your subdivision street. Pretend you’re a car in Forza.

There are an untold number of ways you can achieve ideal fitness, just like the new Dracula movie. Cut the beer. Did you know that beer causes beer bellies? If you didn’t, you need more than health guidance. You need Jesus.

Unlike Denim jean jackets, eating healthy and staying physically active doesn’t go out of style.

Pro tip: Having sexual intercourse, especially rough, is good for your health in multiple ways.

The ladies love a man with a body. A hottie with a body if you will. This is usually the number one reason for a shallow male to get fit. If you want to know how to lose weight fast for men, I’ve already told you the two secrets. EAT RIGHT. PLAY RIGHT. When I say play, I don’t mean Monopoly. I mean hit the gym hard and go harder. Kill it at the gym. Slay it like Darius. Beat it up like Ray Rice. Spank it like Adrian.

Speaking of Peterson, if you have kids and fear that they are being made fun of on the playground for being fat, you should learn how to lose weight as a kid (for the benefit of your child, or for yourself if you are a child reading this).

Published by admin, on September 23rd, 2014 at 6:23 am. Filled under: HealthNo Comments

Get yourself a car vacuum

Tired of having a car that’s dirty? Crumbs everywhere, smut everywhere, grime everywhere – no good.

Why don’t you all go and get yourselves a convenient handheld car vacuum. It’s all you need in this life of sin. You and your car vacuum.

Do you know how many things you can use it for? Unbelievable. You can use it to clean your car and other things. You can clean the dashboard, the seats in the back, the seats in the front, the arm rest, the cup-holders in the back, the cup-holders in the front, the trunk, the glove box, everything and anything. Most importantly, the carpet itself.

When you bring a girl back to you car do you want it messy? Of course you don’t. You need it fresh and clean. A girl who gets into a dirty car thinks she’s with a dirty man. It is not a good impression. You do not want to lose out on the ladies because of poor car hygiene. It’s too easy to avoid. A car vacuum is not expensive these days. For just a few bucks you get a great one with a long cord. No batteries needed.

Really it’s a no brainer.

Published by admin, on July 15th, 2014 at 6:11 pm. Filled under: Auto,Cars,CleaningNo Comments

Why Pantoprazole is awesome

Pantoprazole sodium is honestly and truly one of the best prescription drugs you’ll ever take in your life. It’s no adderall, but it’s good.
Make sure to talk to a doctor and not just the internet if you are concerned for your medical health.

What Pantoprazole does is it makes that terrible and nastiest gastroesophageal reflux disease (also known as GERD) go away, as well as treat some damage that affects the esophagus. It can also be used as a cure for some higher than normal levels of acidity in the tummy that can have been caused by a tumor (like the terrible Zollinger-Ellison syndrome).

Pantoprazole is consider to be a proton pump inhibitor (PPI). It can be taken orally by mouth (which includes side effects) or it can be injected (which includes different side effects).


It is sold under the brand (read: street) name of Protonix.

As far as pregnancy scares go, you’re pretty safe. It’s a category B, which means there are no (proven) risks for humans associated with the drug.

Some other drugs that share the same school of drugs as protonix include omeprazole and esomeprazole. You see the suffix is the same.

As highlighted above, it can be used for GERD, Z-E syndrome, inflamation of esophagus, and helicobacter infection.

Published by admin, on April 27th, 2014 at 5:53 pm. Filled under: Health,Prescription DrugsNo Comments

Hope for your Anxiety

You may have asked yourself “will my anxiety ever go away?”

There is hope for you. You need to attempt to find out what exactly is the cause of your anxiety and what its  triggers are so that you may take them on. It seems like it’s the last thing you’d ever want to have to do, but believe me when I tell you that facing your fears helps. I have personally dealt with anxiety and PTSD for over two years and I still have some problems here and there but I’m much more in control now. The truth is that you can’t control the anxiety, it just makes it worse. You have to take it in, and once you do that, it makes it less powerful.

I recommend meditating, doing some yoga, and exercising. I can’t recommend this website enough for how to get rid of anxiety. I do some very high intensity cardio workouts and it helps tons! You get a natural high.

Also I’ve been watching a lot of videos that a friend sent me.  They helped me get through college. They are probably one of the best things I’ve ever done and I’ll still use them from time to time. Take in the techniques and you’ll have control over both mind and body.

If you’re as determined as I was to banish your anxiety then you should do very well. :) Hopefully this was a helpful post. Just remember that you’re not alone and that it IS beatable! Do not believe the doctors, they are just out there to get all of your money.

Published by admin, on April 22nd, 2014 at 3:52 am. Filled under: Disorders,HealthNo Comments